If you’re out there, The Chuckler would love to hear from you. Canines need not apply.

Trust us, she’ll love it!

According to the document above, under the “Core Democratic Value of pursuit of happiness”, young Steve has every right to staple his head in class. This is an important document for all future generations of head staplers to study and ponder.

On this holiday, to Steve, we give thanks for sticking his neck out there (and stapling it) for all the oppressed head staplers in the world.

Thanks Steve!

Sincerely,
The Chuckler

(via)

So the Chuckler happened to be reading up on heart attack symptoms today and discovered one that is so bizarre, it’s unlike anything he’s ever seen before. Take a look at the screen grab below and see if you can spot it yourself.

Notice anything strange about that last bullet point? “Feeling of impending doom?” Since when did saying “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” turn you into a prime heart attack candidate? An emotion can’t really count as a red flag for a physical malady, can it? For depression, sure, but c’mon, for a heart attack? Really? It’s like whoever wrote that article figured the person reading it would be long dead before they reached the end. Well, joke’s on you, sucker, because the Chuckler made it through to the end of your little list and he’s still kicking. (Though he’s concerned his heart might be attacking.)

Apparently all those weirdos who think the world’s ending in 2012, yeah, they’re just suffering from a bit of a heart attack.

Click here to see the article for yourself if you think the Chuckler’s lying.