Welcome to The Chuckler, a place where the internet's absurd, ridiculous, and irreverent gather for a good old-fashioned laugh. Have a look around, friend, and prepare to be titillated.
If you’re left-handed, you’ve probably experienced this before: Your bladder’s about to burst, so you sprint to the bathroom. You unzip your pants, and just when you think you’re in the clear, you piss all over yourself because your stupid underwear’s made for righties and you couldn’t whip it out in time. WOOPS! (And you’ve just had asparagus too!)
Well, suffer no more, the Hom H1 Original Maxi Trunk is a new underpant designed specifically for lefties. It features a horizontal slit just below the elastic waistband instead of the traditional vertical slit. We’re sure it’ll be a best-seller at the Leftorium.
That’s pretty good, but might you have any gift cards with FOUR wieners?
The Chuckler was over at Target this weekend and spotted this curious gift card at the register. How did no one at Target HQ see it and think, “Boy, this sure looks like a bear, a duck, and a frog hanging out with their dongs out.” Talk about a boner!
TeleBrands has really outdone themselves this time. The Potty Putter is a miniature putting set made specifically for use during defecation. As the infomercial so eloquently puts it, “Just aim and shoot…the ball…into the cup.” Combine the Potty Putter with the UroClub, and you’ve got yourself a golf club for every bodily function!
You know you want one, so go ahead and order one right now. (Just remember to wash off the club grip when you’re done.)
Every circle of friends has one: the thug who’s got it all—ice, spinners, a grill, ERRYTHING. Come birthday or Christmas time, this guy is just impossible to shop for. And the way the economy is these days, you can forget about finding a decent piece of bling. Well, worry not my giftless friend because thanks to the fine folks at Ghetto Baskets, shopping for your thug buddy has gone from impossible to so possible! For the low, low price of 39 dollars and 39 cent (that’s cheaper than a full tank for the Escalade!), you can get your thug friend the best gift he’s ever received.
The Ghetto Basket website says that what’s included in the basket depends on what falls out of trucks around the neighborhood and unreliable contacts, but it’ll most likely contain some of the following items:
Hot Sauce
After Shave
Religious Candle
Kung-Fu DVD
Vapor Rub
Energy Drank
Before you pay for that tie this Father’s Day, answer this question: Can Dad pee in it?
If he can’t, you’re wasting your mulah. Listen, Dad’s not getting any younger, and the older he gets, the more he’ll have to pee every five seconds and the more he’ll appreciate the mind-blowingly dull sport of golf. Show Dad how much you love him by getting him a gift that says, “I understand the changes you’re going through and they’re nothing to be ashamed of.” Get him a golf club he can pee into.
Clearly, the UroClub’s best feature is the little green towel that covers your junk. With that handy rectangular piece of cotton fabric, you go from “degenerate urinating in golf course” to “classy golfer checking out his clubs while standing strangely still.”
Did you know that we’ve been wiping our own asses for OVER 100 YEARS! That’s insane, right? You’d think we’d have invented some better way of cleaning our poopers by now. (And if you’re thinking bidet, you’re stupid. No one wants to squirt freezing-cold water up their butts.)
Luckily, the deft (and trustworthy) people at Telebrands have struck gold yet again with the Comfort Wipe. Basically, it’s an 18″ plastic butt-wiping stick.
And can you believe they’re ONLY $19.99 (plus $7.99 shipping)!
Are you a neurotic pet owner? Do you think neutering dogs is degrading? You wouldn’t want to walk around without your testicles, so why should your dog (or cat, or bull, or horse, or monkey, or rat)? Well, thanks to Neuticles, they don’t have to.
Neuticles are prosthetic testicles that are implanted during the neutering procedure. According to the website, “Neuticles allows your pet to retain his natural look, self esteem and aids in the trauma associated with neutering.” Right on!
If you’ve got questions, like, “My vet said Neuticles are not ethical. Is that true?” and, “Can Neuticles be implanted in people?” there’s a great FAQ on the site.
Here’s an interview with Neuticles founder, Gregg A. Miller.
Gregg A. Miller, you’re creeping us out with those eyes, man!
What you’re looking at here is the hottest-selling item on Amazon. And the reason it’s doing so well is because of people like you.
You see, reviewers just started leaving preposterous reviews, each trying to one-up the other’s absurdity. Every review, while changing the story a bit, follows this basic rule: This shirt rules because it gets me chicks at Wal-Mart.
Here’s an excerpt from one review:
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Interested in buying the shirt or leaving your own awesome review? Go here.
You’re at the beach laying in the sun, soaking up some rays, taking a dip in the ocean every now and then. You go for a walk, flatteringly get hit on by a few guys. You’re on top of the world. Then you look down and your heart sinksâ€â€you’ve got camel toe.
Thanks to the Cuchini (sweet name!) you’ll never have to worry about the ol’ toe ever again. What exactly is the Cuchini? We’ll let the website explain:
“The Cuchini is a comfortable, light-weight material that adheres to any undergarment (panties, bikini, sports attire, etc). It smoothes the ridges of a woman’s mons pubis area providing a smooth and camouflaged appearance. This eliminates what is commonly known as ‘Camel Toe.’”
Anyone wanna come over to Chuckler HQ for dinner? We’re having canned chicken!
Yes, this is a real product, and for some stupid reason it’s expensive as hellâ€â€$50 bucks for 6 cans.
Some guy actually had the courage to eat this crap. Thankfully, he documented his experience with plenty of stomach-churning pictures.
Despite being fully cooked, the chicken looks pale and rubbery. It’s drowned in some nasty-looking gelatinous liquid that looks like it came straight from the set of Alien. The packaging says it’s broth, but we’ve seen broth, and, man, that ain’t no broth.
