Amazing!

Raymond says: “Make sure you have plenty of toilet paper!”

It’s a children’s book the critics are calling “impossible to market” and “not appropriate for our line of books.” In other words, it’s too awesome for kids.

Set in the Big Easy, In the Headlights by Katie Clark (also of the band Generationals) tells the tale of a deer prostitute who must decide whether to lead a straight life or continue working the streets of the French Quarter. It’s like Pretty Woman meets Bambi and it’s wonderful.

If you’re a cool parent (i.e. you don’t mind showing your offspring a drawing of a deer’s va-jay-jay), this is the perfect book for your child. After all, every youngster needs to learn about the dark dangers of the world of prostitution. Plus, it’s never too early to start telling your kid not to be a ho. You gotta get to them before those promiscuous Bratz dolls do.

Buy In the Headlights here. It’s well worth the meager $13 price tag.

Would you rather watch some unremarkable F-list celebrity trudge around the stage for a couple of minutes, or watch two tiny men blow your mind with the most explosive dancing moves you have ever seen?

Thought so.

Musafar rocks!

Meet Radhakant Baijpai, a grocer from the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh. He’s got the distinction of having the world’s longest ear hair, which measures in at at disgustingly long (in ear hair terms) 25 cm.

The Sun has a little article plus some more pictures that are worth checking out. Our favorite is the one where he’s sitting next to his wife who looks absolutely THRILLED with his hair situation.

Watching tears pouring down children’s faces the instant they’re left alone with the mall Santa is one of the few things about Christmas that gets better the older we get. We always make a trip to the mall around Christmas just to see children freak out when confronting old St. Nick. We hate the large crowds, but love the crying kids! So we’re totally loving this photo gallery of children scared of Santa that the Chicago Tribune put together. Thanks for the holiday treat, fellas!

Check out the gallery.

This drawing was done by an artist 20 minutes after taking acid. As part of an experiment run by the US government in the ’50s, an artist was given a dose (50ug) of LSD 25 and encouraged to draw the attending doctor. What resulted was a fascinating series of nine increasingly incoherent drawings.

Click here to see them.

Stop whatever you’re doing and view this Flickr gallery, it’ll be the most joyous thing you see today. Guaranteed.

Wow, we can’t think of a better way to start off everyday covered in sick from the mouth down. Make it stop! Make it stop!