NorCal has exactly what you need if you’re considering rhinoplasty for your website: this guy!

The Chuckler is pretty sure that any attempt Microsoft makes to be hip and relevant crashes as bad as Windows Vista. In their latest attempt at cool, employees at the brand new Microsoft Store in Viejo, California danced The Electric Slide to the Black Eyed Peas’ “I Gotta Feeling” while costumers ignored them. Jerry Seinfeld couldn’t make it, but we’re pretty sure the only thing that could have saved this hot mess from itself would have been a court ordered injunction filed by Ric Silver (pictured below), who claims to own the copyright to the popular bar mitzvah moves. (His website is a real treat. Don’t miss it.)

And you think you have problems?

BONUS: Swampfoot Remix!

Girls love to think that they invented body image issues. But you know what? Long before anorexic models started popping up on the cover of those girly magazines, boys would flex in front of their bathroom mirror and think, “Golly, I sure don’t look like that Superman fella from the comic books!”

Then, Don Draper and his crew of Mad Men would prey on these insecurities and make the boys feel like shrimp instead of he-men. Bizcovering has collected a slew of Vintage Bodybuilding Ads of Yesteryear to show you how the ad men of yore tried to get kids to bulk up.

More vintage ads after the jump. READ MORE

While this video isn’t exactly new, it’s just recently come to our attention. And to be honest, we can’t get enough of people “irrigating their nasal passages” while trying to smile and look good in front of the camera. Bonus tip: “If you can drink the water, you can flush your nose with it.” Now you’ve learned something! Go impress your friends.

Before you pay for that tie this Father’s Day, answer this question: Can Dad pee in it?

If he can’t, you’re wasting your mulah. Listen, Dad’s not getting any younger, and the older he gets, the more he’ll have to pee every five seconds and the more he’ll appreciate the mind-blowingly dull sport of golf. Show Dad how much you love him by getting him a gift that says, “I understand the changes you’re going through and they’re nothing to be ashamed of.” Get him a golf club he can pee into.

Clearly, the UroClub’s best feature is the little green towel that covers your junk. With that handy rectangular piece of cotton fabric, you go from “degenerate urinating in golf course” to “classy golfer checking out his clubs while standing strangely still.”

Order your UroClub today!

If you’re still not sold on the UroClub (or doubt that it’s real), watch this.

Did you know that we’ve been wiping our own asses for OVER 100 YEARS! That’s insane, right? You’d think we’d have invented some better way of cleaning our poopers by now. (And if you’re thinking bidet, you’re stupid. No one wants to squirt freezing-cold water up their butts.)

Luckily, the deft (and trustworthy) people at Telebrands have struck gold yet again with the Comfort Wipe. Basically, it’s an 18″ plastic butt-wiping stick.

And can you believe they’re ONLY $19.99 (plus $7.99 shipping)!

There are some awful product names out there, but none come close to out-awfuling the awfulness that was Ayds diet candy. Sure, saying “Drink cock soup” is funny, but it’s not taboo enough to make it hilarious. Telling someone to go on the Ayds diet to lose weight is just so mean, so awful, that it’s GREAT!

And yes, these were real.

Boy, that’s a lot of plastic for two million dollars. We kid (sort of). Honestly, we really want one. That dude driving it is soooo cool. Who else is so rad that random strangers toss Frisbees at them the second they set foot on the sand. This is a car we could steal girlfriends with. It’s that badass.

And it really does have it all: beach chairs, a “funky-looking” CD player, doors that double as coolers, a worthless repair kit, A FLASHLIGHT! (why’s the dude talking so excited when he says this?), a gas stove, a picnic table, a hose, and so much more!

Of all those fantastic features, it’s the hose that we love the most. You don’t know how many beach outings have been ruined because we forgot to bring our garden hose. What a life-saver! Thanks Pontiac Stinger!