Besides a life in plastic, you know what else is fantastic? Aqua’s comeback, that’s what!

2009 is shaping up as the year of the comeback with LFO announcing theirs just last week. Now Aqua is getting in on the action and they’ve even released a new song, “Back to the 80’s.” It’s a magnificently deep song that spans three decades (written in the ’00s, sounds like the ’90s, talks about the ’80s).

Have a listen, won’t you?

What’s up with this press photo of Christopher Guest, Michael McKean, and Harry Shearer. More specifically, what the hell’s wrong with Harry Shearer’s arms? He’s got three of them! Who the hell does Shearer think he is growing a third arm, Marty Malt from The Dark Backward?

Either Harry Shearer underwent a gross mutation since we last saw him, or somebody went a little Photoshop happy. (The mutation is definitely more likely.)

If you haven’t heard, the Spinal Tap boys are touring the nation performing songs from Spinal Tap, A Mighty Wind, and Waiting for Guffman. They’re calling the tour Unwigged & Unplugged on account of their performing songs as themselves and not their on-screen characters. Here’s a clip:

In our middle school days (mid-’90s), it was cool for headbangers to write the name of their favorite bands on their backpacks with White-Out. NIN, Metallica, RATM, and Green Day were all really popular.

There was one kid—he was new—who decided to be trendy and give it a go. One look at his freshly-painted backpack, and it was obvious that this new guy just did not get it. The dude decided to let the whole school know that his favorite band was none other than Diana Ross and the Supremes.

Needless to say, everyone tormented this kid. Even yours truly took a break from sitting quietly and keeping to himself and got in on the action.

We share this story with you, not because we’re proud of bullying a clueless newbie, but because after watching this video, those all-too-familiar feelings of wanting to make a middle-schooler cry have come back.

Honestly, if you watch this video and you don’t clench your fist, you’re lying to yourself.

We’re on our way right now to shove these kids into lockers and take their lunch money.

What you’re looking at here is the hottest-selling item on Amazon. And the reason it’s doing so well is because of people like you.

You see, reviewers just started leaving preposterous reviews, each trying to one-up the other’s absurdity. Every review, while changing the story a bit, follows this basic rule: This shirt rules because it gets me chicks at Wal-Mart.

Here’s an excerpt from one review:

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Interested in buying the shirt or leaving your own awesome review? Go here.

Whatever your plans were for July 18th, change ‘em because that’s LFO’s one night only reunion show!

What? You don’t remember LFO? Umm, do the words “When I met you I said my name was Rich. You look like a girl from Abercrombie & Fitch” ring a bell?

Yes, LFO (short for Lyte Funky Ones) scored a major hit in 1999 with “Summer Girls.” If you still don’t know what we’re talking about, you’re either deaf or still in elementary school (in which case, go watch Hannah Montana or something, we don’t want you here; this blog is for adults, not little snotty babies like you).

While “Summer Girls” made LFO a household name, we’re more partial to “Girl on TV.” C’mon, you can’t beat “Shooby doo-wap and Scooby snacks” and 1999 Jennifer Love Hewitt. There’s no way!

Behold the masterpiece that is LFO’s “Girl on TV.”

The show’s $35, a small price to pay to witness the magic of LFO.

Hey kids, are you excited about Transformers 2 and G.I. Joe? Well then you’ll be triple excited for Gooby!

Just what is Gooby, you say? Why it’s only the bestest fantasy movie in the world ever!

JAG’s in it. The voice of Hagrid is in it. And you bet your socks Eugene Levy’s in it.

Here, watch the trailer and get ready to have your mind blown FOREVER.

What say you we go down to the local Toys R Us and buy ourselves some Gooby action figures and bed sheets? (Maybe even a Gooby sleeping bag. We’ll see. Depends on how much it costs and whether Daddy got paid this week.)

Only a German could make a cooking video so uncomfortable to watch (and compare the flavor of food to experimental music). The guy’s just too aroused by the boiling sausages for comfort. Also, pickles in a chili dog? I don’t think so, Heinrich.

By the way, every German television show features that frightening music track—even children’s shows. It’s the German way.

If your chili dog tastes like the dying cries of a robot, there might be something wrong with it. What’s German for “you’re doing it wrong?”

We’re with Dad on this one. It’s embarrassing enough to cry like a little girl when you’re 17, but to stream your little hissy fit online is a whole new level of shameful.

What the hell happened to teenagers? It used to be that they’d try to trick girls into going to makeout hill; now they’re all bawling on YouTube.

One thing that hasn’t changed, however: Moms NEVER know what’s going on.

It sounds like Dad’s so disappointed with Scott, he’s about to start crying too.

One YouTube commenter asks where the kid’s channel the father alludes to is. We’re also very interested to find this out. We need to see more of this kid’s tantrums stat.

Question: When you hear the song “I’m So Excited,” do you immediately think of Jessie Spano on caffeine pills?

We do, and we’ve found someone else who does too…

This guy!

When the Japanese hear “YMCA,” do they all imagine a live human in a chestacular shirt singing in a puppet-inhabited forest, or is it just this one man who sees it that way?

How come every Japanese TV show we’ve ever seen is really weird and crazy, yet every Japanese person we’ve ever met has been extremely serious and shy? It just doesn’t add up.